Something New
by Gabriel Pierce
Summary: Qui-gon has taken Obi-wan to be his Padawan yet treats him badly and now after he's come to his senses must repair the damage.
1. Default Chapter

Something New  
  
Rating: NC-17. Just to be on the safe side if it gets a little violent later.  
Non-Slash.  
Characters: Obi-wan Kenobi, Qui-gon Jinn.  
Qui-gon POV  
Obi-wan is 13.  
Summary: I read two fics which inspired me to write this one. Prior reading is   
not needed but if you want you can read Shanobi's From this moment and Ginger Ninja's  
One Apprentice, One Pathway #1 Brewing to get the idea. All credit goes to them.  
  
In general Qui-gon has taken Obi-wan to be his Padawan yet treats him badly and now  
after he's come to his senses must repair the damage.  
  
Please go easy on me as this is my first Star Wars fic ever and I haven't read any of  
the Jedi Apprentice books (yet).   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, they belong to a Master Lucas. No harm   
is intended no money is made.  
  
Something New Part One:  
  
"Obi-wan?" Silence. "Obi-wan?"  
"Yes Master?"  
That timid, shy voice that sends splinters through my soul. He's still wary, unsure  
despite out first morning together. He still believes it's going to end, that I'll  
grow tired of him, or worse, I'm only acting kindly towards him due to Yoda's threat  
of banishment. I truly wish now that I hadn't shared that conversation with him.  
Watch him sidle into the common room, sticking to the walls, far away from me. Eyes  
down cast, respectful.  
"Obi-wan please, come forward."  
His eyes flicker up and he steps away from the wall, slowly towards me. So timid.   
Sigh frustrated at myself. His eyes flicker up again, once again at the brief moment   
when the frustration floods my face. He flinches.  
"Obi-wan no." soft. "I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at myself that you still fear me."  
He flushes. Doesn't bother to dissuade me from the truth.  
"Come...come closer." Coaxing, beckon to him.  
He shuffles forward noiselessly. Kneed and he baulks, reach out and he flinches.   
Try to reach him through the bond but it's fortified against me. Slide closer and it yields.  
'Don't move he'll be disappointed. Don't disappoint him. Don't disappoint him.'  
Chanted.  
"Obi no. You don't disappoint me."  
Instantly a shield thrown up before him.  
Thrown up to keep me out. Can only marvel for a moment how well constructed it is.  
"Obi-wan." Soft, gentle.  
"Y...yes Master?"  
Watch him shake, fighting hard not to break and run. Sigh, it pains me to see him so  
afraid of me.  
"I respect that you no longer trust me. I understand I have to earn your trust back.  
Obi-wan I will never, ever strike you again. I would like you to believe that."   
"Yes Master."  
"Do you believe it?" quiet.  
Sudden rush of fear and panic as his shield buckles again, yields to my gentle probe.  
Try to send him love and compassion but it barely makes it to him before the shield   
is up again.  
'Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no...' could hear it taunting him.  
Sigh. He's just a boy, I must give him whatever time he needs.  
"It's alright. Take time to think on it."  
Soft, try to catch his eyes but they slide away.  
"Do you have classes today?"  
Know already that he does but I need to keep this conversation going however one sided  
it may be.  
"Master Yoda said I need not attend classes today." So gingerly spoken.  
Nod.  
"Then your time is your own. Is there anything you wish to do?"  
Long pause then very quietly.  
"The Temple Master, may I go?"  
"Of course." Frown though.  
Why the Temple if he has free time?  
He nods and steps carefully around me, giving me a wide berth.   
I notice he stays out of arms reach as he walks to the door. Listen to him leave   
quietly but as soon as the door closes he flees, running as fast as his legs will  
carry him.  
Sink onto the floor sadly, disappointed in myself. That I can not get through to him,  
let him see how much he means to me. How much I love him now. 


	2. Part Two

Part Two.  
  
Mace watches me carefully.  
"How is Obi-wan?" quiet.  
Sigh sadly.  
"He still will not listen. I can't seem to make him see how much I care for him, love him. I've hurt him so badly and I begin to think irreparably."  
"Don't despair Qui-gon it'll take time, but in time he'll see and understand your feelings for him"  
"He fears me." Can barely whisper the admission.  
Mace sighs.  
"He won't leave you though. He's been offers a new Master and refuses to take one. So there is hope as there is always hope."  
Sit stunned. The council offered him a new Master? And he refused? But why? Pause then it hits me. He can't bare to disappoint me, he must believe that if he leaves I will be therefore he must stay. Sighs heavily. This only furthers my heartache, when it should make me happy that he's not going to leave.  
"Qui-gon?"  
"It's nothing."   
I want to change the topic.  
"I've noticed his focus with the Force has improved remarkably."  
"He meditates far more than is necessary for his training."  
"Perhaps meditation will help his troubled mind."  
"No."  
"No?"  
"He meditates to shield himself from me. So that I can't access his mind through our bond."  
Silence.  
"This is serious." Mace is quiet. "Is Master Yoda aware of this?"   
Shake my head.  
"No."  
"You realise the danger of this don't you? He will end up cutting himself off from the living Force."  
"Oh no. His grasp on the living Force is stronger now than ever before. He is very careful about it. Very methodical. He does it solely to keep my out."  
Horror.  
"You must tell Master Yoda. This isn't healthy, he'll only hard himself and you. Though I doubt he realises it. Have you explained this to him?"   
"I haven't the heart to tell him. He'll only take it as another failure to please me. He'll think he's disappointed me again."  
"But Qui-gon…"  
"I know Mace, I know."  
And Force how I know it.   
  
I'm waiting for him when he returns from his latest session of meditation at the temple. Call his name and feel him tense, startled.  
"Master?"  
"Would you come sit with me please Obi-wan?"  
Make it a question not a demand.  
He moves warily and sits at the opposite end of the seat. Can feel his wariness, caution in every more.  
"Obi-wan this shield you've constructed." Begin.  
He immediately reaches for it, all the while his muscles tense hard in fear.  
"Yes Master?"  
Sigh deeply, this will not go well I can see it now.  
"I'm sorry Obi-wan but you can not keep it."  
Panic. Horror. Despair.  
"Please, listen. This shield will hurt you. It cuts us off from one another and that was not meant to be."  
More panic and the shield slips a little.  
'Nonononononononono.' Fear.  
"Obi-wan please, we both need the bond or we'll not be able to train, to function properly. The shield will cripple us."  
"Us?" small voice.  
"Yes Obi, it will hurt us both."  
Realise too late what I've told him.  
Crushing despair. 'I've disappointed him. Hurt him.'  
He sinks into it. Oh Force.  
"Obi-wan." Soft but he doesn't' hear me. "Obi-wan?"   
reach out and touch his ginger hair.  
He leans unconsciously into my touch and pleasure, hope flares within me. Move closer to hold him and suddenly he comes back to himself. He jolts, breathing hitches and he jerks away again. Too soon. I back off. Allow him his space.  
"It's okay." Soothing.  
Tentatively try to access the bond and discover it's open. Want to show him the love I feel but don't dare to try.   
Watch weariness seep into his body and mind. He needs to eat and rest. Perhaps he should rest a little first then eat, it's only early afternoon.  
"Obi-wan?" gentle, soft.  
He looks up, hurt and sad.  
"Why don't you rest? I'll wake you for evening meal."  
He pauses.  
"You look tired." Coaxing.  
He nods and rises. Watch him walk silently to his room and quietly close the door. Sigh. Well that went well. 


End file.
